There is a lot that goes into throwing your own wedding. It’s likely the biggest event you’ll ever host with a ton of information that you’ll never need to know again that somehow everyone and their mother already have a firm grasp on.
“Did you number the back of your RSVP cards and coordinate it with guest’s names on a google spreadsheet so that if you can’t read someone’s handwriting, you know who rsvped?” Nope, no I absolutely skimmed over that part in the twenty-seven magazines I now have towering next to my bed conveniently taking the place of my nightstand.
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Ugh, looking back to my life exactly five years ago, from organizational skills to my diplomatic approach to everyone who had a suggestion, which I coined “being a Stepford Bride”, there is so much I learned in that one year of wedding planning. Honestly, I’m beginning to think that if I were hiring an employee, seeing “planned my own wedding” on their resume would be a gold star. I’m getting ahead of myself.
First thing’s first, the most important part of any wedding is the couple. If every single heartfelt detail I put into our wedding crumbled to bits, I’d still be dancing their in my duvet sized gown in the arms of my better half looking forward to our future and that would be more than enough—everything else would be the Ron Ben Israel approved icing on the cake.
I met my now husband Franklin fifteen years ago this month. When people ask how we met, I usually go with the quick “we went to neighborhood high schools and met through a mutual friend”—it’s true, but that’s the bare bones of it all. I already feel like you, yes you, and I are friends and I know that you already scrolled to see how long this article is so you’re in it for the long haul, so I’ll give you a little more of the fun details. FYI, I’m blushing as I type, seeing my high school self, the style choices specifically, good god were they incredibly ridiculous.
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Dressed in my favorite black flare stretchy pants, chunky black four inch heels, cropped skin tight light blue spaghetti strapped tank and my oversized silver hoop earrings, my equally as awesomely dressed girlfriend and I put on our best struts, likely to Destiny’s Child’s new hit single Independent Women, and made our way up west 93rd street to see if there were any hot guys hanging out outside of Columbia Prep High School. There he stood in his best Captain Morgan stance in a black suit, fresh to death, talking to his parents on his, if I remember correctly, Motorola flip phone, outside of his school’s science fair. Yup, we made eye contact and everything. It was hardcore.
Flash forward again, and Calhoun, my high school—Go Cougars!—were playing Columbia Prep in men’s basketball. Of course, I went. Any excuse to satiate my boy crazy basketball loving self. That same girlfriend I had strutted the streets with (there has to be a better way to say that) was the official scorekeeper of the game. At its end, I walked over to her official table to chat. That’s when one of the Columbia Prep sweat clad basketball players approached me.
“You’re a really beautiful woman. I’d love to take you out to dinner sometime”. Sounded weird then too, but why not, I’ll go with the line! I wrote down my screenname for him on a torn piece of paper. That night, I signed on to my online chat. One after another, a slew of windows popped up. Apparently, this guy ran down to the locker room and showed that torn piece of paper to the whole basketball team. With a super easy screen name to remember, they all decided to throw friendship to the wind and chat with me.
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Looking back, I’m super flattered. By the time my now husband chatted me, my response was, “let me guess, you go to Columbia Prep”. I was still super sweet and hung out with guy number one. We went out once or twice and talked on the phone a slew of times, but nothing ever happened there. It’s kinda weird, he had this fascination with me meeting his best friend. So much so that he randomly showed up at my building with this guy in tow once, I wasn’t even home! I guess he had to prove that I was real or something. I don’t know.
Some sort of bro thing I won’t pretend to understand. Well, I met his best friend, realized he was the same guy I had strutted past, that same guy who I’d been chatting with online for weeks and what did I do, I said “that’s a cool watch, can I see it”, tried it on and thought the best way to flirt was to run off with it. Me in those chunky black heels again and he the star on the track team, he caught me and like a nice fisherman released me watch still in hand to my crosstown bus getaway. He was smart. He now had an excuse to see me again—I still have that watch.
A lot of great stories happened in the ten years to follow, like the one about our amazing engagement or the monsoon on the night of our rehearsal dinner that literally flooded our venue, but those I’ll save for another day.
After working as a freelancer for a lot of years, I was ready to settle down in a nine-to-five kind of life—“we’ll hire you, but you’re extremely over qualified, you should consider picking up a hobby”. My hobby quickly became planning my wedding. Being a web designer, motion graphics designer and graphics designer, I felt this looming pressure to design every last detail of our wedding myself with the fear that I’d have to say “no” any time a family member would say “these invites are gorgeous, did you design them yourself?”.
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Essay on Planning a Wedding
1906 Words8 Pages
Planning a Wedding
It seems like only yesterday that my sister and I, adorned in flowers and lace, were playing house and rehearsing imaginary wedding vows. The past twenty-one years seem like a whirlwind and every day keeps coming faster and faster. The big day is no longer a fantasy; my wedding is five months away. What do I still need to make this event as special as I’ve wanted it to be for more than half of my life? There are so many things put into a wedding, and efficient planning is very important. I hope to give as much advice on some of the things that were the most significant while I have been planning my wedding.
Many important things have been accomplished in the last few months, but many significant tasks…show more content…
Both choices give the couple the chance to share their special day together and with the people they love. Whichever one you choose, it is very important that the couple communicate with each other through the entire wedding preparation, and carry it into the marriage. Champlin, the author of Uniting in Marriage, acknowledges that many marriage counselors list communication at the head of essential ingredients for a successful marriage. Communication includes discussing many issues like: how many children you want, finances and where to live, where the wedding ceremony will take place, as well as choosing the style of plates and pottery you want. Issues both big and small should be discussed so there won’t be any surprises on the wedding day. The event should be organized in advance so you can relax and enjoy the moment on your special day.
The first step is to spend special time with your fiancé throughout your engagement. There are plenty of ways to do this; one would be to plan special outings and quality time together in order to put an emphasis on each other, instead of the stressful wedding planning for a change. An important thing that I, as well as the Church suggests is to reflect on the spiritual side of the wedding as a couple. It seems today that many people eliminate this part of the wedding and it becomes